It's funny how as a believer, I feel more blessed going through a trial than I did before the trials! I think I appreciate the little things more and I have just felt so loved by people. Many people have written notes to tell us they are thinking and praying. Some brought meals. Others big hugs. It's amazing how loved and blessed I have felt.
A few praises.
* My dad's growth in his pancreas turned out to not be cancerous and it is very slow growing. It is still a very dangerous tumor and needs to be dealt with so we continue to pray that it is operable. The operation is very major and has a long difficult recovery...so we are praying for that also....and salvation.
*Mom's scan after her radio-iodine treatment looks really good, with one small area to keep their eye on.
*My recovery was much quicker and easier than I thought...God was so merciful! And baby took a bottle with no problem at all, even though she had never had one before. Daddy did such a great job taking care of her and I that day.
*Husband had an MRI done for some bad dizziness etc that has been going on for months and nothing more than a bad sinus infection showed up. What a praise. He still needs to do the heart test done in the next 2 weeks.
*Husband loves his new job, we have a great church and a wonderful network of friends. We are so blessed and so thankful for God's continual mercies, which are new every day! Praying we never take this for granted and always have a thankful heart.
For those of you who have encouraged and loved us through sweet notes and prayer....thank you from the bottom of our hearts! xoxoxo
Showing posts with label spiritual life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spiritual life. Show all posts
Monday, October 10, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
His People
Funny how my blog has completely changed in the last year. I am really hoping and praying that I can go back to posting recipes and fun tips that I learn. I really want to go back to lighter-hearted days. But, that is not what God has for me right now.
I don't think God wants me to be comfortable. As soon as I take comfort in one step or something being behind me, something new seems to pop up. I am thankful that my surgery went well and I recovered quickly. I am thankful that the furniture is all put back in my house (although we still have repairs to do). I was thankful that my mom finished radiation and completed her body scan (the last step), and that my dad felt good about his surgical team at UCLA.
Today, my mom wrote and told me that she got a call from the radiologist saying she needs to come down for another scan (we don't know why). My dad wrote and told me that he has been researching the type of surgery he is supposed to have and since it is such a big deal, he is not sure he wants to have it. My husband (who still has to go get his heart tested) has also been feeling dizzy all summer. He had a follow-up appt with the ENT Dr today, who now wants to do an MRI on Thursday, with a follow-up on Monday. Then, my husband starts asking me about his life insurance policy (just casually). Um.....really? I was doing ok with his scan until that.
I am definitely learning that I CANNOT think about everything or even pray about everything ALL AT ONCE. It is WAY to much for my heart to handle. I am pretty much learning that I can only live ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is really big for me. I am a worrier and end up worrying about many things that never even happen. Although...I must say....a lot has happened this year that I wan't worrying about. Anyway...I physically and emotionally can't even go there right now. It is just WAY too much for me. So, along with the lessons I listed last week or so, living one day at a time is another one.
You might be wondering why I titled this post the way I did. Well, it is because of another blessing I have felt through all of this. I know that God wants to care for me and comfort me. What I have lived through this is that a major way He does that is through His people. so many people have come out of the woodwork and sent me the sweetest, most caring and encouraging notes. People have faithfully prayed. People have brought meals, even when I have wanted to refuse them. I feel God's love for me, through His church. I am so thankful for that. I continue to press on, trusting Him and waiting for Him to teach me all He has for me. I am praying for mercy and relief from suffering, but I know that He will be with me, whatever the road may bring!
I don't think God wants me to be comfortable. As soon as I take comfort in one step or something being behind me, something new seems to pop up. I am thankful that my surgery went well and I recovered quickly. I am thankful that the furniture is all put back in my house (although we still have repairs to do). I was thankful that my mom finished radiation and completed her body scan (the last step), and that my dad felt good about his surgical team at UCLA.
Today, my mom wrote and told me that she got a call from the radiologist saying she needs to come down for another scan (we don't know why). My dad wrote and told me that he has been researching the type of surgery he is supposed to have and since it is such a big deal, he is not sure he wants to have it. My husband (who still has to go get his heart tested) has also been feeling dizzy all summer. He had a follow-up appt with the ENT Dr today, who now wants to do an MRI on Thursday, with a follow-up on Monday. Then, my husband starts asking me about his life insurance policy (just casually). Um.....really? I was doing ok with his scan until that.
I am definitely learning that I CANNOT think about everything or even pray about everything ALL AT ONCE. It is WAY to much for my heart to handle. I am pretty much learning that I can only live ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is really big for me. I am a worrier and end up worrying about many things that never even happen. Although...I must say....a lot has happened this year that I wan't worrying about. Anyway...I physically and emotionally can't even go there right now. It is just WAY too much for me. So, along with the lessons I listed last week or so, living one day at a time is another one.
You might be wondering why I titled this post the way I did. Well, it is because of another blessing I have felt through all of this. I know that God wants to care for me and comfort me. What I have lived through this is that a major way He does that is through His people. so many people have come out of the woodwork and sent me the sweetest, most caring and encouraging notes. People have faithfully prayed. People have brought meals, even when I have wanted to refuse them. I feel God's love for me, through His church. I am so thankful for that. I continue to press on, trusting Him and waiting for Him to teach me all He has for me. I am praying for mercy and relief from suffering, but I know that He will be with me, whatever the road may bring!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Anxiousness
I am trying to combat the anxiousness I am feeling as I wait for my dad's results. Here are a few verses on my heart (emphasis mine):
"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him,
my salvation and my God."
Psalm 42:11
" The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble.
And those who know your name put their trust in You,
for you, O Lord, have not foresaken those who seek You."
Psalm 9:9-10
"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
Psalm 27: 13-14
"When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all."
Psalm 34:17-19
"Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you;
He will never permit the righteous to be moved."
Psalm 55:22
"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."
Romans 8:18
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Praises
I feel like I dedicated this huge post to trials so I need to write a post to mention some praises from the last couple of days. CHOOSING to focus on things to be thankful for!
1. My mom (who was in isolation, receiving radioactive iodine for cancer), was released yesterday ( 2 days early) because her toxic levels dropped so quickly. She is so happy to be in her own home!!!
2. My husband, who works SOOO hard, was promoted to Engineer at work (LA County Fire Dept) yesterday
3. Amidst the complete mess in my torn-apart house, we have the sweetest company working on drying the water-damage. It is a pleasure to see them and they are working hard for us and even bought a very expensive Heap Filter system to use at our house because of the baby.
4. My sweet husband took off work, the day after I found out about my surgery, so I wouldn't have to be alone.....just in case I was sad!
5. My dad has been so sweet to help pick the kids up from various places, to make life a little less crazy for me.
6. Sweet friends have called a written to encourage me, pray with me and/or tell me they are praying for me.
7. I have healthy, wonderful children that I love with all my heart !
(totally trivial in comparison.....) 8. We finally found the type of car (used) that we have been searching for for almost a year! In process of purchasing it!
I am truly blessed!!!
*More praises to come!
1. My mom (who was in isolation, receiving radioactive iodine for cancer), was released yesterday ( 2 days early) because her toxic levels dropped so quickly. She is so happy to be in her own home!!!
2. My husband, who works SOOO hard, was promoted to Engineer at work (LA County Fire Dept) yesterday
3. Amidst the complete mess in my torn-apart house, we have the sweetest company working on drying the water-damage. It is a pleasure to see them and they are working hard for us and even bought a very expensive Heap Filter system to use at our house because of the baby.
4. My sweet husband took off work, the day after I found out about my surgery, so I wouldn't have to be alone.....just in case I was sad!
5. My dad has been so sweet to help pick the kids up from various places, to make life a little less crazy for me.
6. Sweet friends have called a written to encourage me, pray with me and/or tell me they are praying for me.
7. I have healthy, wonderful children that I love with all my heart !
(totally trivial in comparison.....) 8. We finally found the type of car (used) that we have been searching for for almost a year! In process of purchasing it!
I am truly blessed!!!
*More praises to come!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Trials
I really don't know where to begin with this post or why I am posting it, other than to journal a pretty significant time in my life. I feel like I have gone through so many trials in such a short time and I know that God is definitely trying to teach me something. I just want to be sure I get it. I am hoping this doesn't continue to go on and on, but I also know that each one of these circumstances was handpicked for me, they do not surprise God, He loves me, He promises to use them for good, and I can glorify Him through them. It is hard to see clearly in the middle of it all but I don't want to waste them. I definitely think 2 major themes that have reoccurred are: Not To Take Things for Granted, and I Do Not Have Control Over the Circumstances in My Life.
At the end of May, the trials began. They 1st couple seem fairly minor looking back but felt significant at the time.
1. My eldest son went in an ambulance to the hospital for chest pains and breathing problems. In a nut shell, more things surfaced that required testing and waiting through a long holiday weekend for results. Everything turned out ok...praise God. I definitely viewed my son differently after that....Things that bugged me didn't matter any more. I just wanted him to be ok
2. After my sweet baby girl was born in June, the Dr told me my hemoglobin was so low, I almost needed a transfusion. This resulted in a long recovery from child birth and a hard time having energy to get things done. It also resulted in not producing milk to feed the baby and the baby not gaining weight for about a week. May not seem big to some...but...this was my last baby and I desperately wanted to be able to nurse her. It all turned out ok and she has more than caught up. praise God
3. The day I was leaving the hospital, I found out my mom had thyroid cancer. Not easy to hear. Not a lot of explanation needed on that one. But, after further testing, it was a kind with a great prognosis. She has since had her thyroid removed and 3 very involved lymph nodes. This week, she is currently spending the week in isolation, receiving a large dose of radiation. Next week....a body scan to see if the cancer spread to other areas.
4. While trying to adjust to #6 and recover from childbirth, baby screamed all day, every day and seemed inconsolable. I know plenty of people have collicky babies but this was especially hard becasue of the 5 other kids to care for, including a 2 year old. I feel like my husband and kids didn't get to enjoy her the way they did Jonah because she was never happy and no one else could hold her. At a couple weeks, we discovered that she had blood in her stool and this was most likely food allergies from food I was eating. So, I needed to cut out dairy, eggs, nuts and fish. I thought "no problem". Ya right! Don't think I realized how many things dairy was in. It was worth it though, and that trial was resolved, too (about 2 weeks after changing my diet)! Now she is such a sweet, easy going girl and the kids all love to play with her and hold her all the time!
5. Soon after, my dad had some routine tests where we discovered he has a slow-growing growth on his pancreas. We had to wait a couple of weeks for a biopsy, which shows that is is not cancerous. However, they sent everything down to UCLA, where he needs to have further testing done next Tuesday (Sept 27) to see how to proceed.
6. Then, I had some problems recently with one of my eyes whenever I moved it or blinked (not with my vision). I wondered if I was starting to get an infection. For 3-1/2 weeks, it didn't get better or worse. Upon careful examination, I noticed it appeared to be sunken in a bit. It kind of freaked me out so I got into and eye Dr the next day who referred me to another Dr., who did a CT scan right in the office. The scan showed some sort of bad infection in my right sinus cavity that has eaten away some of the bone and is subsequently causing my right eye to sink toward the sinus cavity. Not fun news to get at all. This is resulting in at least 2 surgeries (the 1st one is next Tuesday, the 27th, to clear out the sinus cavity and take a culture of the infection.The 2nd one will be with a plastic surgeon to repair the bone and re-place the eye in it's proper position). I really struggled with accepting how this will all fit into my life of homeschooling, working, caring for my family, a newborn, etc. I cannot control it and God has allowed it for a reason. I am thankful it isn't something worse, is fixable and that God orchestrated it to where I was able to see every Dr, get a scan, and get results all within about a 5 hour window of time. Praise God! He is in every detail and nothing takes Him by surprise. Surgery is the same day as dad's procedure.
7. Seems trivial after all of that...but, in my busyness, I flooded my upstairs bathroom today by forgetting to turn off the faucet to the sink I was filling, as I went downstairs. Husband had to come home and has torn out the ceiling of our living room. We had to file a homeowner insurance claim and are waiting for someone to come out. I'm sure the house will be torn apart for weeks....all while being stuck at home, recovering from surgery.
8. Just got a text form my husband that his physical with the fire dept revealed a problem requiring him to get a CT scan of his heart quite a distance from our house next week.
So, next week is My surgery, my husband's CT scan, My dad's tests/procedure and my mom's body scan....all while repairs and construction will be going on at my house. God is definitely working. I feel so "not cut-out" for any of this. I feel like it is more than I can carry while still taking care of my day-to-day responsibilities. . Then, I remember that God does not give us more than we can handle, that we do not need to worry about tomorrow and that He WANTS us to allow Him to carry our burdens. He sees and knows the end result....I just need to cling to Him and trust Him through it.
At the end of May, the trials began. They 1st couple seem fairly minor looking back but felt significant at the time.
1. My eldest son went in an ambulance to the hospital for chest pains and breathing problems. In a nut shell, more things surfaced that required testing and waiting through a long holiday weekend for results. Everything turned out ok...praise God. I definitely viewed my son differently after that....Things that bugged me didn't matter any more. I just wanted him to be ok
2. After my sweet baby girl was born in June, the Dr told me my hemoglobin was so low, I almost needed a transfusion. This resulted in a long recovery from child birth and a hard time having energy to get things done. It also resulted in not producing milk to feed the baby and the baby not gaining weight for about a week. May not seem big to some...but...this was my last baby and I desperately wanted to be able to nurse her. It all turned out ok and she has more than caught up. praise God
3. The day I was leaving the hospital, I found out my mom had thyroid cancer. Not easy to hear. Not a lot of explanation needed on that one. But, after further testing, it was a kind with a great prognosis. She has since had her thyroid removed and 3 very involved lymph nodes. This week, she is currently spending the week in isolation, receiving a large dose of radiation. Next week....a body scan to see if the cancer spread to other areas.
4. While trying to adjust to #6 and recover from childbirth, baby screamed all day, every day and seemed inconsolable. I know plenty of people have collicky babies but this was especially hard becasue of the 5 other kids to care for, including a 2 year old. I feel like my husband and kids didn't get to enjoy her the way they did Jonah because she was never happy and no one else could hold her. At a couple weeks, we discovered that she had blood in her stool and this was most likely food allergies from food I was eating. So, I needed to cut out dairy, eggs, nuts and fish. I thought "no problem". Ya right! Don't think I realized how many things dairy was in. It was worth it though, and that trial was resolved, too (about 2 weeks after changing my diet)! Now she is such a sweet, easy going girl and the kids all love to play with her and hold her all the time!
5. Soon after, my dad had some routine tests where we discovered he has a slow-growing growth on his pancreas. We had to wait a couple of weeks for a biopsy, which shows that is is not cancerous. However, they sent everything down to UCLA, where he needs to have further testing done next Tuesday (Sept 27) to see how to proceed.
6. Then, I had some problems recently with one of my eyes whenever I moved it or blinked (not with my vision). I wondered if I was starting to get an infection. For 3-1/2 weeks, it didn't get better or worse. Upon careful examination, I noticed it appeared to be sunken in a bit. It kind of freaked me out so I got into and eye Dr the next day who referred me to another Dr., who did a CT scan right in the office. The scan showed some sort of bad infection in my right sinus cavity that has eaten away some of the bone and is subsequently causing my right eye to sink toward the sinus cavity. Not fun news to get at all. This is resulting in at least 2 surgeries (the 1st one is next Tuesday, the 27th, to clear out the sinus cavity and take a culture of the infection.The 2nd one will be with a plastic surgeon to repair the bone and re-place the eye in it's proper position). I really struggled with accepting how this will all fit into my life of homeschooling, working, caring for my family, a newborn, etc. I cannot control it and God has allowed it for a reason. I am thankful it isn't something worse, is fixable and that God orchestrated it to where I was able to see every Dr, get a scan, and get results all within about a 5 hour window of time. Praise God! He is in every detail and nothing takes Him by surprise. Surgery is the same day as dad's procedure.
7. Seems trivial after all of that...but, in my busyness, I flooded my upstairs bathroom today by forgetting to turn off the faucet to the sink I was filling, as I went downstairs. Husband had to come home and has torn out the ceiling of our living room. We had to file a homeowner insurance claim and are waiting for someone to come out. I'm sure the house will be torn apart for weeks....all while being stuck at home, recovering from surgery.
8. Just got a text form my husband that his physical with the fire dept revealed a problem requiring him to get a CT scan of his heart quite a distance from our house next week.
So, next week is My surgery, my husband's CT scan, My dad's tests/procedure and my mom's body scan....all while repairs and construction will be going on at my house. God is definitely working. I feel so "not cut-out" for any of this. I feel like it is more than I can carry while still taking care of my day-to-day responsibilities. . Then, I remember that God does not give us more than we can handle, that we do not need to worry about tomorrow and that He WANTS us to allow Him to carry our burdens. He sees and knows the end result....I just need to cling to Him and trust Him through it.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)