Monday, October 3, 2011

His People

Funny how my blog has completely changed in the last year. I am really hoping and praying that I can go back to posting recipes and fun tips that I learn. I really want to go back to lighter-hearted days. But, that is not what God has for me right now.

I don't think God wants me to be comfortable. As soon as I take comfort in one step or something being behind me, something new seems to pop up. I am thankful that my surgery went well and I recovered quickly. I am thankful that the furniture is all put back in my house (although we still have repairs to do). I was thankful that my mom finished radiation and completed her body scan (the last step), and that my dad felt good about his surgical team at UCLA.

Today, my mom wrote and told me that she got a call from the radiologist saying she needs to come down for another scan (we don't know why). My dad wrote and told me that he has been researching the type of surgery he is supposed to have and since it is such a big deal, he is not sure he wants to have it. My husband (who still has to go get his heart tested) has also been feeling dizzy all summer. He had a follow-up appt with the ENT Dr today, who now wants to do an MRI on Thursday, with a follow-up on Monday. Then, my husband starts asking me about his life insurance policy (just casually). Um.....really? I was doing ok with his scan until that.

I am definitely learning that I CANNOT think about everything or even pray about everything ALL  AT ONCE. It is WAY to much for my heart to handle. I am pretty much learning that I can only live ONE DAY AT A TIME. This is really big for me. I am a worrier and end up worrying about many things that never even happen. Although...I must say....a lot has happened this year that I wan't worrying about. Anyway...I physically and emotionally can't even go there right now. It is just WAY too much for me. So, along with the lessons I listed last week or so, living one day at a time is another one.

You might be wondering why I titled this post the way I did. Well, it is because of another blessing I have felt through all of this. I know that God wants to care for me and comfort me. What I have lived through this is that a major way He does that is through His people. so many people have come out of the woodwork and sent me the sweetest, most caring and encouraging notes. People have faithfully prayed. People have brought meals, even when I have wanted to refuse them. I feel God's love for me, through His church. I am so thankful for that. I continue to press on, trusting Him and waiting for Him to teach me all He has for me. I am praying for mercy and relief from suffering, but I know that He will be with me, whatever the road may bring!

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